A commitment to ‘always be at the table.’

Many years after reading Sheryl Sandburg’s 2013 book, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, and watching her Ted Talk, “Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders,” the phrase “sit at the table” sticks with me.

At the time I read the book I was working for a hospital system, overseeing a large research team. I often sat in interdisciplinary meetings where the doctors would occupy the seats at the table and the support team members, often early career professionals and nurses, would sit on the periphery of the room. These seats were not assigned—it was just how people sat themselves. In her book, Sandberg observed that those who sit at the sidelines of decisions are more often seen as spectators instead of as active participants or decision-makers.

After finishing the book, I made a commitment that I would always be at the table because I refused to believe that my experience, knowledge, or opinions were any less valuable than those of anyone else in the room.

Bring a chair for someone else.

I now work in a nursing academic setting that seeks to offer an environment of belonging and inclusivity for faculty, students, and staff. I was recently made aware of a meeting to which a diverse group of employees had been invited; in the absence of assigned seats, faculty members sat around the table and staff members sat on the periphery. How does this arrangement reflect the commitment to equity we speak of on our website? Why doesn’t everyone have a seat at the table?

This unspoken dynamic forced me to see that it is not enough to pull up my own chair. Sitting at the table is inherently easier for those who carry privilege and exist in the majority. As an affluent, white, doctoral-educated woman I have been expected to be a leader, formally and informally, my whole life. But what about people who have never had privilege given to them or an expectation made known? The real directive should be to sit at the table and bring a chair for someone else. Look around the spaces you exist in and consider who needs a chair.

Notice the unspoken dynamics at meetings.

At in-person meetings, observe what dynamics exist. Invite someone on the periphery to sit next to you. Consider what you can do to change furniture-driven dynamics that keep people from fully engaging. Be willing to identify things that could be improved and bring in the extra chair or open the circle to create a safe and welcoming environment for all.

Giving everyone a voice at online meetings.

In an increasingly online world, sitting at the table does not always mean a literal table. We
spend much of our working day in online meetings. Often, we hear the same voices unmuting their microphones to share insights and opinions—I am very guilty here! In online meetings, it is essential that we pause and call on people who have not shared. Directly ask for their thoughts—allow for sharing to be verbal or in the chat option, on camera or off camera; the format is not important, but the insights will be.

Bridging the gaps between roles or backgrounds in the workplace.

The changes above are simple. The harder, and more important, work is to create intentional relationships with the people we work with who have different roles and backgrounds from us.

On the surface most of us celebrate diversity, but do we actively seek relationships with people who are different? When we have celebratory lunches at work, do we approach other team members with questions about work or do we approach them with questions of human connection? I recently chatted with a colleague who shared, with palpable excitement, the plans for her son’s graduation party. This conversation and the connection I felt with her has stuck with me and I keep thinking about the food she was going to serve at his party, a reminder of our common humanity.

I share these thoughts not to make you feel bad about the space you make for yourself at the table–feeling bad will not change anything. Let us operate from a place of generosity. In writing this piece, I learned that the concept of claiming your seat at the table is actually not original to Sheryl Sandburg but comes from Shirley Chisholm, a woman who started her career as a preschool teacher, became a representative of the U.S. Congress, and founded the National Political Congress of Black Women. She urged all people, regardless of background, to “bring a folding chair” if they are not given a seat at the table where decisions are made.

Let us take her words and actions a step farther and create influence for ourselves while creating opportunities for others to influence. Let us bring a chair to the table and let us bring an extra for someone else.

Virginia Reising, DNP, RN, PEL-CSN, PHNA-BC, is an associate professor and assistant chairperson in the Department of Community Systems and Mental Health Nursing, Rush University College of Nursing, Chicago, IL. 

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